At the beginning of 2014, I fulfilled my childhood fantasy of buying a Ferrari. At the end of 2014, I fulfilled my adulthood fantasy of selling it. In the meantime, I took it to a dragstrip, drove it on a 500-mile roadtrip, tried to sell it to CarMax, tied a television to its roof, drove it to Manhattan, took it on a mountain drive with dozens of other exotic cars, drove it in the rain, lent it to a Hollywood movie, used it to attract women, and let all my friends drive it. Here’s what happened.
Here’s What it Cost Me to Own a Ferrari For a Year – December 11, 2014
I’ve owned my Ferrari for 329 days. In that time, it’s travelled 5,022 miles in five U.S. states. It’s been the subject of 24 Jalopnik columns, totaling 2,082,131 views, and 17 YouTube videos, reaching 4,424,998 plays. And now it’s time for one last number: exactly how much has this car cost to own?
Owning a Ferrari For a Year Was a Disappointment – December 8, 2014
They’re coming for it next week. The shipping company, that is. They’re picking up the Ferrari, taking the keys, putting it inside a trailer, and transporting it far away to a new owner, thus bringing to an end my childhood dream of owning a Ferrari. I should be downtrodden; dismayed; depressed. I should take time to gaze at it longingly during the last few days before its departure. I should take it on one final drive with tears welling up in my eyes. I should be browsing AutoTrader for a new one.
But I’m not.
I’m happy to see it go.
The Hardest Part of Owning a Ferrari Is Selling It – December 3, 2014
If you’ve followed along for the last year, you’ve probably realized that life with my 2004 Ferrari 360 Modena hasn’t always been easy. It was hard to find the right car, and tough to get it insured. Driving it every day is impossible, and getting gas is just as difficult. And the car has a few quirks that make it a little more challenging to operate than a normal vehicle.
But nothing in my entire ownership experience has been as hard as selling it.
Here’s Why You Absolutely Can’t Drive a Ferrari Every Day – November 11, 2014
Nine months ago, in my first-ever column as a bona fide Jalopnik writer, I proclaimed: Why Yes, You Can Drive a Ferrari Every Day. You may remember this column, because I tied a TV to the roof of my car, and I duct-taped a monkey in the passenger seat, and I went through a McDonald’s Drive-Thru. It’s awesome! I recall thinking. It’s fun! It’s easy to drive! It’s fast! It’s even PRACTICAL!
Well, in the last nine months, I’ve had the chance to really mull things over, and I’ve ultimately reached a slightly different conclusion: It’s awful.
Here’s What Happened When I Tried to Sell My Ferrari to CarMax – October 29, 2014
If you’re a regular reader, you probably know that I write two frequent series here on Jalopnik. In one, I document all the problems I have with my used Range Rover, which I bought two years ago from CarMax with a bizarrely comprehensive six-year warranty. In the other, I tell you what it’s like to own a used Ferrari. These columns are very popular, and most people seem to like them, except the folks over at the Ferrari and Land Rover message boards who believe I am worse than the Taliban.
Here’s Why You Should Never Drive Your Ferrari in Manhattan – October 3, 2014
I recently had the opportunity to drive my Ferrari in Manhattan.
Here’s Proof That an Exotic Car Won’t Melt in the Rain – September 17, 2014
There comes a time in the life of every aspiring journalist when he must put himself at risk of great personal peril in order to bring you a major developing story. Some go to treacherous riot zones and cover dangerous looting. Others go undercover to bring you tales of corruption and greed. As for me, I recently had to spend about 45 minutes standing out in the rain.
Here’s Why Philadelphia Is a Terrible Place For a Ferrari – September 11, 2014
When I announced a few months ago that I was moving to Philadelphia, several of you readers chimed in with excellent tips and suggestions. “Watch out for the potholes!” one said. “Be careful of the potholes!” said another. “You need to buy a gun,” said a third.
I Got Paid $1,000 to Park My Ferrari on a Movie Set – August 19, 2014
I recently earned $1,000 by doing nothing. It was an excellent experience, and I highly recommend it to anyone who’s sick of making money through normal channels, such as work.
Here’s What Happens When Two Women Drive Around In a Ferrari – August 6, 2014
A few months back, I posted a video that shows me driving around in the Ferrari, desperately trying to get attention from women. And it shows women completely ignoring my efforts. The whole thing is depressing, and disappointing, and in the end, I crash the Ferrari into a day spa while screaming: “DO YOU NOTICE ME NOW?!?!? HUH?!??!”
Getting Gas Is the Hardest Part Of Owning an Exotic Car – July 29, 2014
Most car guys are a little curious about the exotic car ownership experience. How does it drive on a race track? What does it sound like at full throttle in a long, glorious tunnel? How fast can you get it going on an empty highway? Well, those are all excellent questions, and today I’ve decided to ignore each of them. Instead, I’m going to tell you what it’s like to get gas.
The Ferrari 360 Is the Most Reliable Car I’ve Ever Owned – July 2, 2014
It’s an interesting moment every time I meet someone who recognizes me from Jalopnik. “Hey! You’re Doug! From Jalopnik!” they always say. “The guy with the Ferrari and the CarMax Land Rover!” And then, in all their excitement to learn more about the industry, and all their eagerness to talk about cars, they invariably ask the same first question: “Why do you always wear the same shirt in all your videos?”
I Took My Ferrari To a Dragstrip In Rural North Georgia – June 18, 2014
I recently had the opportunity to drive my Ferrari in a highly competitive, precisely timed, serious automotive racing event. It was a quarter mile drag strip located in the kind of place where fishin’ is an acceptable destination for a honeymoon.
Would You Rather: Porsche Cayman S Or Ferrari 360 Modena? – June 5, 2014
Today’s column is devoted to a rousing round of Automotive Would You Rather?, featuring the following scenario: Let’s say you have eighty grand to spend on a performance car. Would you rather buy a modern, mid-engine sports car with a long warranty, tons of comfort and convenience features, and all the latest gadgets? Or an old one that catches on fire?
Here Are The Biggest Drawbacks Of Owning an Exotic Car – May 22, 2014
With today’s column, I’ve decided to cover an issue I think we can all relate to: the many drawbacks of owning an exotic car.
Sorry Men, A Ferrari Won’t Help You Attract Women – May 6, 2014
There are thousands of men, probably millions of men, who believe the reason they haven’t hooked up with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model has nothing to do with their unkempt hair, or bad breath, or the fact that they have stains on their clothes older than many NBA rookies. Instead, they think it’s because they don’t have a Ferrari.
Here’s Why I Let All My Friends Drive My Ferrari 360 Modena – April 23, 2014
I recently let twenty of my close, personal friends drive my Ferrari. This may surprise you. You’re probably sitting there in astonishment and disbelief. You’re probably staring at the screen in utter shock. You’re probably stunned. You’re probably thinking: You HAVE twenty friends?
I recently heard the call of the mountains. I think we can all agree that every car enthusiast – old or young, tall or short, iPod or Zune – hears this call at some point or another. “Get your ass up here,” the mountains say. “And drive on us.” The mountains can be jerks sometimes.
I Took My Ferrari to the Dyno To See How Much Horsepower It Has – March 25, 2014
People often ask me how fast I’ve driven my Ferrari. And, just as often, they’re disappointed by the answer. That’s because I hadn’t even cracked the 100 mph barrier until a few weeks ago, largely because I already pay roughly the same annual insurance premium as the White Star Line after the sinking of the Titanic.
But now, I’m pleased to report I have a new, and far more exciting, answer to the “how fast have you gone” question: I’ve hit 140 miles per hour, in a warehouse, behind a 1994 Buick Roadmaster.
Here’s Why a Used Ferrari Is a Smarter Buy Than a New Porsche 911 – March 12, 2014
Before I bought my car, I turned to you for feedback. You probably remember this, because you gave me feedback. Yes, you. All of you. Even if you’re visiting this site for the first time from some faraway place that just got Internet, such as Idaho, and your automotive expertise is limited to logging vehicles, I probably heard from you. (“Buy a logging vehicle,” you probably said. “Great for logging.”)
Everything Is a Little More Difficult When You Have a Ferrari – March 5, 2014
“It must be nice.”
People say this to me now, when they learn I have a Ferrari. “It must be nice,” they say, smiling, trying to show that they’re happy for me, when in reality they’re speaking in the same tone one might use when the president is in town, and the secret service has closed down all the major interstates during rush hour.
Why Yes, You Can Drive a Ferrari Every Day – February 18, 2014
As you might imagine, I get a lot of questions when I’m driving my Ferrari. “Hey, you, in the Ferrari!” people shout, for example. “Do you know there are flames shooting out from your engine?”
No, I’m just kidding. Despite all the jokes, I personally believe fire is a very unlikely event, largely because modern Ferraris are safe, reliable, well-engineered vehicles manufactured from the finest possible materials. Also, I carry around a fire extinguisher the size of a desktop fax machine.
Buying a Ferrari Is Harder Than You Might Think – February 5, 2014
Buying a normal car is easy. Am I right, folks? You go down to the dealer, you pick out the one you want, you take it for a short test drive, and then BAM! You spend the next six hours arguing with the salesman about how you don’t want those rubber floormats that get stuck on the accelerator.
I Bought a Ferrari and Drove It 500 Miles Home – January 23, 2014
Let’s get one thing straight right now: it’s a stick shift. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Three full pedals and one of those old-fashioned gear changer thingies. I am told this is how the interior of a sports car is supposed to look.